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July marked the third anniversary in my apartment here in Melbourne. Three years that have been something of an experiment in place-making. I’ve shared glimpses of this journey in DD (see DD242 and DD261 and my many updates to Friends of DD), but the lived experience has been far more instructive than any brief newsletter intro could capture.
It’s the most ‘settled’ I’ve ever felt, which makes Rosie Spinks’ latest essay all the more compelling. She’s dissecting our generation’s inability to commit to anywhere because we know too much about everywhere else. It’s the curse of infinite optionality – that nagging feeling that the perfect life is always just one flight away.
I recognise this restlessness. For years, I ping-ponged between places with a laptop and a suitcase, convinced that this kind of geographic arbitrage was the key to a happy life. The thrill wasn’t just the novelty of it all – it was the intoxicating freedom of never having to deal with anything tedious for very long.
Every Instagram story from Lisbon, every post about a Bali co-working space, every friend’s Berlin apartment tour fed this sense that I was missing out by staying put. Spinks articulates our generation’s predicament:
“...by quirk of history, technology, and privilege, [we] simply know too much about the world. As humans, we were never supposed to live with this much optionality embedded into our psyche. People didn’t used to see the myriad obligations of their lives as opportunity costs, but rather as the unavoidable work of being alive.”
There’s something almost tragic about having endless choice yet feeling perpetually unsettled. We’ve managed to optimise away the very constraints that might anchor us. The ‘digital nomad’ lifestyle promises liberation but often delivers a weird form of exile – always passing through, never quite arriving.
I’m reminded of what Spencer R. Scott describes as ‘becoming a person of place’ – the idea that rooting yourself somewhere makes the future feel more valuable because its wellbeing becomes intertwined with your own. It’s a beautiful and necessary reframing of commitment as expansion rather than limitation.
What my own experiment has taught me so far is that the rewards we seek – genuine connection, meaningful impact, that elusive sense of belonging – only come from sustained engagement with a place’s full spectrum of experiences.
“The richness and meaning arises in part from choosing it at the expense of all other places you could be and things you could be doing. Accepting a place’s shortcomings, the things it lacks, and its imperfections is essential to appreciating everything it does have to offer.”
These last three years have been rich in connection and meaning, but also friction – the daily annoyances and lengthy negotiations (some of them in my head, many with other people) that come with truly inhabiting somewhere. I’m convinced that this friction is what creates the texture that shallow experiences lack. You can’t Instagram your way into belonging; it requires choosing deliberate entanglement over endless optionality, again and again. – Kai |
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Art to Expand Perspectives SPONSOR |
Art that changes how you see everything. In About Art, Heidi Zuckerman curates works that shift your perspective, challenge your assumptions and open your eyes to what was unseen. Sign up for Heidi’s weekly emails to discover how art can transform the way you live. |
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Apps & Sites |
The world’s favourite books |
A project that brings together hundreds of ‘best of’ lists to create an ever-evolving guide to the most celebrated books ever written. The rankings are based on how often books appear across trusted lists, with more weight given to the most credible sources. You can get personalised recommendations by creating an account and adding books you liked to your favourites. |
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Tiny, personal newsletters |
Miss the days of Tinyletter? Rumicat is a simple, personal platform for publishing newsletters without the clutter of marketing tools. It’s a quiet space that celebrates small audiences, meaningful expression and the joy of writing for its own sake. |
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MapScroll combines mapping and AI. You can plot things on feature-rich maps with just a prompt. For example, you can ask it to show you the highest-rated cafés in a particular city that also have good vegan food and MapScroll assembles the locations, images, and captions automatically. It’s one of those AI use cases I would find genuinely useful. (Alas, looks like the site got hit by too much traffic and had to put a waitlist filter up.) |
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Monotype simulates an old-school typewriter on your Mac. With its retro feel and simple constraints, it brings back the pleasure of being fully present with your words. It’s free fun. |
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Worthy Five: Gavin Birchall |
A question worth asking:What is called for to encourage life in this moment? Because life is what is unfolding here. A concept worth understanding:Consilience – the unity of knowledge across different ways of knowing that converge on the same truths – ancient and modern, sensory and cognitive, spiritual and rational. We need to recognise similarity rather than fixating on difference. A word worth knowing:Efflorescence – flourishing or blossoming. Human development continues well beyond childhood if we create the conditions that allow for ongoing growth and transformation throughout our lives. An activity worth doing:Leaving the house with no plan and engaging with people you’ve never met. Free participation, exploration, and the unexpected inspiration that arises from unstructured encounters offer refreshing perspectives. A piece of advice worth passing on:What you are absorbed in seeking is almost always a way to capture what is passing you by right now. This reminds us to see clearly what’s before us and pace ourselves, recognising that our persistent quests often distract us from experiencing what’s already present. (Did you know? Friends of DD can respond to and engage with guest contributors like Gavin Birchall in one click.) |
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Books & Accessories |
Connection in disconnected timesSociologist Allison Pugh examines how genuine human connection becomes increasingly precious in our automated world, arguing that the work of truly understanding and empathising with others – what she calls ‘connective labour’ – may be the last distinctly human contribution in an age of AI. “A timely and urgent argument for preserving the work that connects us in the age of automation.” |
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Identity told through our pronounsLinguistics professor John McWhorter takes a lively, thoughtful look at the tiny but powerful words we use to describe ourselves and others – from ‘I’ and ‘we’ to ‘they’ and beyond. Through history, culture and politics, he shows how pronouns shape our sense of identity and belonging. “Pronouns get a heavy workout, and as such, they become part of our hardwiring. To mess with our pronouns is to mess with us.” |
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Overheard on the Socials |
My to-do list is now a historical document of things I once thought I had the energy for. |
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Food for Thought |
The friction-free, globetrotting life that many of us chase (or have chased in the past, like myself) looks tempting on Instagram but often feels empty. I agree with Rosie Spinks, who argues that technology and privilege make it easy to avoid typical life obligations, but ultimately also remove most of the things from our lives that make it meaningful. “The richness and meaning arises in part from choosing it at the expense of all other places you could be and things you could be doing. Accepting a place’s shortcomings, the things it lacks, and its imperfections is essential to appreciating everything it does have to offer.” |
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Wow. One of the more deeply curious and beautiful pieces I’ve read in a while: Shani Zhang paints and observes people at weddings, and quietly interprets what’s behind their exterior. She has a true gift for seeing people’s internal architecture through tiny external details. So many wonderful observations, like: “There is happy, and there is polite, and they look very different. Polite has a mechanical quality to it, like carrying out all the right movements to replace batteries in a remote. Happy has a boundless quality: unpredictable, even when it is at a low level. There is an openness, allowing another person to surprise and delight them. The easiest way to say this: there is no script for happy. It tumbles out of the body. Polite comes from the mind – it is restrained and calculated – measured lines and pauses. There are reinforcing loops in a polite person and a happy person. A person closed to the possibility of delight finds less of it. A person open to it finds more.” |
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This is tough but important reading: Mike Brock on how the US is facing a slow collapse of its democratic system and why many people cannot emotionally accept this reality. Psychological defenses, attention deficits and misleading media coverage make the crisis seem ‘normal’. “Fascism doesn’t arrive announcing itself with swastikas and goose-stepping troops. It comes draped in familiar symbols, speaking the language of tradition, order, and national renewal. It maintains the forms of democratic governance while hollowing out their substance. It works through existing institutions rather than immediately abolishing them.” |
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Aesthetically Pleasing |
Greenland-based Dennis Lehtonen shares absolutely stunning photography of the awe-inspiring land and seascape of the polar regions. Prints are available in their shop. |
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You really have to see the work by Jakob Grosse-Ophoff in motion. He’s a German artist-engineer who blends his mechanical engineering know-how with a love of everyday movement, creating wooden kinetic sculptures that seem to come alive. |
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I’m loving the colours in the pottery work by Shane Gabier, a designer-turned-ceramicist based in New York. His work brings together influences like modernist form, 1970s psychedelia and Brutalist architecture, “turning functional objects into vibrant studies of shape, colour and texture”. |
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Font of the week: Jubel is a bold, lively typeface whose thick strokes and playful curves capture the joy, pride, and energy of celebration |
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Notable Numbers |
The UN chief António Guterres last month declared the world stands at a climate breakthrough as over 90% of renewable energy projects now cost less than fossil fuel alternatives, with solar power running 41% cheaper and onshore wind less than half the price of fossil fuels. |
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A new Internet Matters report surveying 1,000 children aged 9 to 17 found that 67% use AI chatbots regularly, with 35% saying conversations with AI ‘feels like talking to a friend’ and a concerning 12% turning to AI because they have no one else to talk to. |
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Canada has committed $300 million to Indigenous-led conservation, protecting 380,000 square kilometres of land and water – including 200,000 square kilometres of newly designated areas roughly twice the size of Florida – which represents more than 2 per cent of Canada’s entire landmass. |
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The Week in a GIF |
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