February 3, 2026

We have the porn industry to thank for popularizing the “MILF.” But E.J. Dickson argues that there’s a deeper valence to this archetype’s attractiveness. In a wide-ranging essay that traces the history of the term — through porn and pop culture and all the way back to the guy who accidentally popularized it in the 1990s (and was too embarrassed to share his name) — E.J. analyzes the aspects of the “sultry, sophisticated older woman who’s somewhat nonsensically horny for a younger man and makes no apologies for it” that make her, well, a bit aspirational. “It’s not the flat stomach or taut ass or HBO extra-quality breasts or any other superficial marker of MILFdom that make the MILF alluring,” E.J. writes. It’s that the MILF rejects “the self-denial that so often comes with the territory of motherhood.” E.J., who herself has two kids, has been exploring the trope of the bad mother for a forthcoming book on the topic. What she found so singular about the MILF — and what sets her apart from other bad-mother archetypes — is the fictionalized ideal of the world she is able to inhabit, one in which motherhood doesn’t cost women a thing.
—Natalie Shutler, features editor, New York 

By E.J. Dickson

Photo: Everett Collection/©Universal

A biweekly newsletter about what the literati are really thinking. 

If you're enjoying our reading recommendations, consider forwarding this newsletter to a friend. If someone forwarded this newsletter to you, you can sign up here.