…Is FINALLY almost over. Season 8 premieres tomorrow, and I watch it as religiously as I watch my favorite teams in the playoffs, so I will be seated and open to be pulled into chats. This season it will be extra sporty, because it will feature an actual Paralympian. Pepe and Chris WHO? (No offense). 

If you want to believe in love again, delete the apps and get a baseball video game, like Defector’s Luis Paez-Pumar did. To be clear, you will be in love with baseball, not a person, but whatever, love is love!  

The Chiefs have many famous fans, and many of those famous fans have a group chat. Here’s what Eric Stonestreet, Jason Sudeikis, David Koechner, Heidi Gardner, and Paul Rudd are talking about in it. And here’s this quasi-famous Chiefs fan’s official submission for admittance. 

Under Armour has been making some surprising moves lately, like cutting bait with Kelsey Plum and Stephen Curry. But while their basketball footprint has disappeared, their football footprints are deeper than ever, thanks to the Bayou King. 

In courtside news, Adam Sandler has apparently found his WNBA team, and they aren't in New York. Also, fans are speculating we’re going to get Justin Bieber courtside at MSG for the finals, which means Jalen Brunson would probably score about 3,000 points. 

I don’t usually take this approach in the newsletter, but there were sooooooo many sporty things over the weekend, I’m going to put on my writer’s (re)cap here, for all of us. 

Roland-Garros is really (literally) heating up (it’s been deathly hot), but sadly most of the crowd faves have been 86’d (I’ve always wanted to say 86’d — no idea what it means). Coco Gauff lost, Sinner’s out, Djokovic was defeated by teenager Fonseca, Shelton’s out, Anisimova was upset–you get the point. But the fits have been fun. 

Frances Tiafoe, you’re our last hope. Just don’t get in a fight. 

Arsenal fans were nursing their wounds after losing to PSG in penalty kicks (I streamed it from a yacht in the middle of the Hudson River, more on that below). Is this a fair way to decide a final? I don’t know, does it seem likely to change? No. Should we just accept it as our reality? I vote yes. Anyway, sorry to my colleague, Dan, who was there, and will have to write about this in our just-launched OffBall FC newsletter. And fans of other Premiere League teams were ecstatic. Like Josh Hart.

Speaking of France winning stuff, the Knicks will meet Wemby and the Spurs in San Antone for Game 1 on Wednesday. The Spurs defeated the Thunder, and everyone on X decided it was a matter of literal war and fascism?

You know, even I, a longtime OKC defender, will not be touching that subject. Paige Bueckers was there, for reasons I still don’t understand, but fully support regardless. And the best part about all of this is that Jeremy Sochan is getting a ring either way. A nice consolation for the Arsenal stan. 

The same can be said about a Filipino champion, by the way. 

After Jeremy getting a ring no matter what, the second best part was this meme.

And, back to the yacht part, because it’s about me, but also because it’s about me on a yacht. The U.S. Sail GP Team invited me aboard their spectator yacht for a big race weekend in NYC this week. The race (which is described as a Formula 1 Grand Prix race on water) was disrupted by a little something called the elements — who forgot to put “be chill” on their calendar for the weekend. It was so windy (how windy was it?!) that the crane that drops the thirteen boats into the water could only manage to get four into the soup. And after a nosedive by the Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds-owned Australian team, there were three. It really made for a unique experience, I’ll tell you what. 

Anyway, the great news from the weekend was that the U.S. Team (which has the first and only female grinder on any Sail GP boat, by the way) looked fresh as hell, thanks to Tommy Hilfiger. 

And Stewie was there for the pre-race pageantry. 

I’ll keep this brief, and I’m going to try to talk about other stuff in the coming days, but all I want to do right now is watch Knicks and Spurs fan edits. Lucky for me, HoopTok is delivering. 

If you’re excited for the 1999 Finals (and also NBA Cup) watch this one. Or this one. 

Here’s this one, for KnickTokkers. And this one for those in the Avril Lavigne x Jalen Brunson/Josh Hart Venn diagram. Because Jalen Brunson is literally lowering the crime rate.

For the fan of “lofi beats to study to” here you go. 

Spurs fans, you’ve got a treasure trove of edits, thanks to Wemby (and very talented editors). If you click any links in this section of the newsletter, let it be that one.